Home / Blog Posts / Fatigue and the Black Dog / Diary of a Chronically Exhausted Vicar. Episode 44

My friend encouraged me to write lament through this experience of worsening Fatigue. It is a positive sign that I am writing, for writing is a path to healing for me. When I cannot write, I feel truly unwell.

Diary of a chronically exhausted vicar image

lament of the chronically fatigued vicar
my people are gathering
and I am not with them;
the congregation together,
I on my own

your people will join
their voices in praise,
confess our collective turning away,
receive your welcome, your grace

your servant will sigh
her stilted praises,
reaching for joy, yearning for peace,
searching for you, alone

your people will sing
the Sacred Story,
hear it, proclaim it, commit
again to enact it, together

your servant will honour
your Story, her story,
in stillness
and the small piercing silence

my place with my people
stands empty today;
though another will speak,
only I can be me

the cost – the cost!
I count, and lose;
the gift, the gift
I would claim, I would

Oh Holy One,
hear my cry!
ease my pain,
help me remember

your people, as they gather –
you are with them;
though I am absent,
you are here